“Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.”.“Cowardice and weak-willed men… and hazelnuts.”.Anything more and this becomes figure skating.” But as long as I sit still and don’t move my head or torso, I’m good. But uh, this morning, I made the mistake of sneezing. I’ve had it for a while, and I’ve been ignoring it successfully. That folder, in my hands, is far deadlier than this bow of yours." "Literally everything is a weapon, son.Everything that happened before that was a mistake.” The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.” It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.” “Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.”.“Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.”.And then again when I heard that Li’l Sebastian had passed.” Once when I was 7 and hit by a school bus. “When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”.That's not a lesson, by the way, just a comment on lumber availability." "There's more than one crib tree in a forest.It can be used to make tents, backpacks, shoes, stretchers, sails, tarpaulins, and I suppose, in the most dire of circumstances, it can be a surface on which to make art.” “That is a canvas sheet-the most versatile object known to man.Here are some of his most memorable quotes from the show's incredible seven-season run. One thing is for certain: Ron Swanson is consistent, and as the ultimate “man’s man," he never has any qualms about what other people think of him.īut for a man of few words, Pawnee's director of Parks and Recreation sure did seem to have an opinion about everything-from fishing and crying to women named Tammy. Maybe it's his outward disdain for the American government, his woodworking skills, or his unending love of meat and alcohol. If you're a fan of Parks and Recreation, it's pretty much a given that you're also a fan of Ron Swanson.
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